Delusion-Elle

As in Mad-Eyed Moody!
Nah, I'm just kidding. WG & AN blogged tonight (yesterday?) so I felt like blogging too. Hurrah for peer pressure! :)

Time is running out to catch up with schoolwork, and I've stopped caring about anything and everything school related. But life isn't about lollygagging around and doing things you want to do. No of course not. That'd be far too easy and we can't have life being easy now, can we?

Had a loltastic talk with WG today. x) I don't think I can ever talk to her without actually lol-ing at the screen and getting weird looks from my brother.

Just a little warning in advance, this is probably going to be a somewhat self-absorbed post.

I'm listening to that "Calling to the Night" song again and it's got a chokehold on my heart. Every time I hear it, I come close to crying. I know that it's already inspired the start of a story that's gone onto my brainstorming notepad file. But I'm forcing myself not to do any writing right now. I know that if I do, I won't be able to do any more schoolwork or studying, which is why I had to finish that story. It was stealing my time and energy. I want to sing this song so badly. But people are in bed and the house is not empty. I wish I was standing on the corner of a busy intersection of endless traffic. I like that feeling of being there, but not quite at the same time. And the noise is loud enough to cover my voice.

I don't even know what I want anymore. Sometimes I think being in a relationship would be nice. But I also think that I enjoy my solitude. I love my friends and sometimes I think that there is no room for anyone else in my life. But I shouldn't even think about these sorts of things. These thoughts just make me feel weird. In the end, I know that I could do just fine by myself. Relationship talk makes me feel weird. I know I'm young, I know that I shouldn't believe in words like "never". But I don't know. I don't want to know.

Well, I think I've just got to study Math hardcore, review some more Physics, and try and finish CPSC lab 5 (from before the reading break lololol) before school starts again.