Delusion-Elle

There has been kerfuffle of sorts concerning one of my high school teachers. He allegedly had a relationship with one of his students. If this rumour is true, then I am disgusted. However, I am not so sure that this is true. Right now, this is just hearsay. Sure, there seems to be some evidence gleaned by word of mouth, but I firmly remain skeptical of this claim. In fact, I am incensed. I respect and admire this teacher -- it is not easy developing a decent band program out of basically nothing. The fact that everyone seems not to see this angers me and I have finally been able to collect my thoughts and feelings enough to write something more coherent than "YOU SHUT UP ALL OF YOU, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HIM. YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE IN BAND AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH BETTER HE MADE IT. *tears*"

For the sake of ease, let's refer to him as A.

One point made is that a few ex-students were contacted by the school board about this teacher. Apparently two female ex-students received letters saying something along the lines (and this is already a fuzzy bit) of "we would like more information on your experiences with A". What's important to note is who these two ex-students are. I myself am a female ex-student and a friend of mine also falls into that category, but neither of us received any such letter. Is there anything that separates these two ex-students from myself and my friend? Looking back on my days in class, I remember that both of these ex-students had altercations and disagreements with A. One of them, who I talked to and walked to class with sometimes, actually was dropped from the class because she refused to go on a big trip for the class. And when I say "big trip", I mean "this trip is pretty much our raison d'être this year, this is what we are working towards". This is something that A impressed on us many times throughout the year, and after becoming upset at this student for saying no to the trip, he essentially kicked her out of the class. A brash action? Yes, but A is a man who is passionate about his job and particularly about this class. We were his bread and butter, a stumbling bumbling creature expected to transform into a well-oiled machine in time for this grand trip. What was the point of keeping this student in his class if her goals obviously did not align with that of the rest of the group? The way I see it is that he saw her (and a few other students who felt the same way) as an unnecessary growth, so he cut her off. Again, this sounds cruel and brash, but think about it. We're talking about an area where perfection is the focus, and although perfection is nigh impossible to achieve, you do everything you can to get as close to it as possible. Because if you aren't perfect, you get booed off the stage. Everyone hears every mistake, everyone sees every little piece out of place, and they will judge you for it. This is a course so unlike any other -- with the exception of the other performing arts courses -- that you have to think about it and its instructor in a different way. If you're telling me that you can approach Social Studies the same way you can approach any of the performing arts, then I'd like to have a very long discussion with you about that.

In short, these two ex-students had "beef" with A (with the other ex-student also leaving the ensemble before year-end). But, you may be wondering, how would anyone know about this "beef"? Why would these two be contacted? The question I pose to you is: is it not plausible (and likely) that these two went to the school board with an earlier complaint about A? Neither of them were fond of the man, and both of them were passionate -- I had seen glimpses of it just in talking and seeing them. Would they not fight for the idea of personal justice they held so closely to their hearts? I'm not saying that this is what happened, but it does explain why they would have been contacted, and honestly, I would not rule out this possibility. But I digress.

At the root of it, I have to say that I am extremely saddened to see this accusations pointing at A. I have been in his company, just the two of us, a few times and I was completely at ease. He is not some sick pervert. What he is is a passionate teacher who is married to his work. His passion is what leads him to make some stupid decisions, I admit; it is not wise to remain with a female student in confined quarters, but not because I think that he would prey on the girl -- no, but for his own safety and prudence. He is a brilliant man, and so very talented in his field, but he does not make the best decisions in terms of prudence. If you'd actually sat in his class and listened to what he'd said, then you would've heard the fatigue, but you would've seen the complete devotion he had to his cause -- i.e. our band. He would do anything for our band if it meant making it, and any of the star players, better. I remember how he would tell us about how he'd stay up late working on trying to figure out how to make us better and how he would fall asleep at the wheel of his car -- mid-drive. This man thinks nothing of his own well-being. This is something that people have to understand. He does not think of what kinds of whispers will be said about him or about the physical hazards he imposes on himself. His focus is on the band. And if working with a key player in the band off school hours one-on-one is what he thinks it'll take, he'll do it, not even thinking about the consequences. Sure, he loved his students, but I never saw any hint of it being in an inappropriate manner. He loves his students like they are his children. So yes, when I hear that he drove this student in question somewhere, I am not surprised. I am only upset at how little a hold "rational judgment" seems to has on him.

Another point that people have brought up is that his alleged teenage lover (and student) has dropped out of school now as a result of this not-so-clandestine relationship. First of all, is this more hearsay? Did the girl actually say that yes, she did indeed drop out of school because she could not stand A's advances any longer? Or did she say yes, she did indeed drop out because everyone was talking about her? Well, to the second question, I'd like to say that my brother is in her grade and he was in band for a time so he knows and is on good terms with a lot of the band kids still. And after talking to him tonight, he has not heard a THING about this incident. Sure, he had noticed that this girl had dropped out, but he had heard nothing beyond that. If you want to call my brother out for being an unobservant ninny, then that's a separate issue that you can take up with me.

But I digress. The fact that the girl has dropped out of school may or may not be related to this "fiasco". There is no solid indication that the two events are related. We do not know what goes on behind the closed doors in her household abode. We can never truly know what happens in the 90% of someone's life that we don't see. We only get to see what they tell us, and even then, humans are not reliable reporters. We all have secrets, and we all have skeletons in our closets. The fact that her father is a local politician may give an indication as to what her home life may be like, but even then it would be unfair to infer much. If anything, the fact that her father is a local politician may relate to this situation with A. As a parent, you want to protect your child. If your child is hurt, you will seek revenge. This much I have gleaned from parents. If A really, truly did hurt this girl, then her father would presumably become involved. Okay, this may be where the school board comes in, but this could also be a prime time to pull the politician card and use that media attention to condemn A. Everyone likes a good story.

The story has gone through so many people that a lot of the details have been lost. They have also been diluted and been expanded. People trust their sources, I understand that completely. However, I do not trust their sources. I do not even trust myself -- I am aware that I have the power to manipulate stories when I retell them, and I do believe that I am guilty of this at times, although I do try actively to catch myself; and oh yes, I have caught myself. The thing is that people love a good story and they love having an audience who will react. Why do you think that whoppers and hyperboles exist? We are also creatures who pride ourselves in being very different from each other. We are all individuals. We all think differently and speak differently from each other. And from this beautiful set of differences, we misunderstand and miscommunicate. I am not condemning these actions, but I merely wish to recognize them.

Oh, and another thing. Notice how he's still teaching? Surprised? I'm not. He's still teaching because there is no evidence. If this was as serious as everyone makes it seem -- though that is perhaps something created by how viral this rumour has gone -- then he would be relieved of his position and he would be undergoing investigation right now. I know a student teacher who was at my high school for her practicum, and she drove home one of her students, a female, home after some sports practice one day. The girl developed a crush on this student teacher. In the end, what happened to this student teacher? Nothing. Because nothing happened. The fact that nothing has happened to A so far seems to indicate that the school board has not found the condemning evidence. Perhaps this is because it does not exist.

For me, it just hurts to see people -- who didn't even know A -- slag him and shake their heads at even the mention of his name in disgust. He is a man who seems to become the object of many students' hatred, and unfortunately it seems that this might have bit him in the ass this time. This is a shame. The man I know A to be is one that is dedicated, passionate, and selfless. I only wish that others, despite how he pressed their buttons, could see him in the same light.

... Besides, my mom believes him to be gay, no doubt about it. And we all know that mom is always right.