Delusion-Elle

So, an update from me about how things are going. I'd say that in the grand scheme of things, life is treating me well. I do envy the people at work -- well-established in their fields and happy and stable -- but I'm trying to tell myself not to worry about them and my own future too much. My co-workers think it's funny how young I am. I don't feel young at all, and I certainly see no humour in being this age. The project that I'm working on has gotten much harder to make progress on, partly because the concepts are all completely foreign to me and also because my brain cannot function from the hours of 7am to 1pm, which is sadly a good chunk of the day. What doesn't help is that I have these (probably) unreasonably high expectations for myself, and I'm imposing them on all of my co-workers, which is very unfair, really. But enough of my complaining. I'm mostly okay. I just do not enjoy showing my work to people higher up... I don't want them looking at my shoddy progress and having it reflect badly on my project manager (who hired me in the first place). I really should stop caring so much.

I hate still being so tired after and during work. Some days are worse than others. I really must go for a walk every day, I think.

Going back to the short bulleted list I made last post about things to blog about, I'm going to recap what my experience at the Library Square Public House was like.

I was there as a birthday party guest. We didn't make reservations and there were about 20 of us so it was very nice that they managed to squeeze us all in without making us wait. The atmosphere there is typical of a pub -- dim lighting, plenty of TV's around playing whichever sports games are on, a bar, and generally a cozy feeling. Though the lack of space may have contributed to the coziness.

The food was... not very good. Or at least, my food was alright -- not really good, but as I was hungry, I ate it. I believe that I ordered a hamburger. On the bright side, the patty was massive and looked to be maybe an inch thick, but aside from that, there was nothing special about it. I believe that there was a tangy sauce, which was interesting enough, but I felt like it didn't do much for me or the overall taste of the burger. The appetizer I split with a friend was the chili squid, which was calamari in chili sauce. It was not bad, but a bit too spicy for my tastes. Though that might not have been helped by the fact that the only drinks I had were red wine (which doesn't taste all that good, I have to say, though nothing with alcohol in it is very taste; I think I had it to be "cultured") and water.

At around 9pm, the dancefloor was opened up and the place pretty much transformed into a club. The music was loud, deafeningly so, but I didn't realize it until after I'd left. It was 90's night, but I did hear a good number of more recent songs (LMFAO, I'm looking at you. And glaring.). The dancefloor filled up pretty quickly, and my friends and I ended up at the bar, where I had a 151. And this is where it got exciting. So we ended up getting the 151's "en fuego", and apparently that means "on fire". When we clinked shotglasses, the drinks spilled over and so did the fire. So yes, I was literally on fire, or at least my hand was. I'm still sporting scars from the burns, but the blisters are finally gone, which is fantastic.

After downing the (very nasty-tasting) 151, I ended up dancing. Much of the time I was on the edge of the crowd -- which actually suited me just fine -- and I ended up pressed to a wall -- something I was also very much okay with. I have to give my friends props for trying to include me and pull me back into the thick of things. :) That was so very nice of them. I actually quite enjoy dancing so that was nice, though it was kind of painful getting stepped on and elbowed. I ended up staying there until midnight or so, which I think was fine.

In conclusion, yeah, sure, I'd go clubbing again if it was part of a birthday event or something, but do I care to go again of totally my own accord? Not really. I don't really care to see people dancing sexily close to each other. And yeah, they're strangers, but I'd rather not see it.

Also, I don't know if this is true for other people when they go clubbing, but I distinctly remember thinking that despite being part of a large crowd, I felt horribly alone. And I don't really want to feel like that again.