Delusion-Elle

I've abandoned this blog for far too long (again) and we've hit that time of year again where everyone has problems writing down the date and people finally start to recover from their holidays hangover.

2011 was a very trying year. Thinking back to last January, I can honestly say that a lot has happened since then. The good things included finishing 2nd year (not with flying colours, but with a somewhat respectable GPA) and landing a co-op placement with a company focused on creating products that I would actually be passionate about. I became closer to my friends during the summer and had a great time with them every Monday night when we'd talk and jam out playing Guitar Hero. They are such good people. I could not ask for a better set of friends to genuinely care about me. Much love.

The bad was, simply put, bad. I let my heart get away from me for a few months, and even now, almost half a year later, I'm still trying to get a complete hold of it again. My cat passed away, and even as I type this, I feel the tears spring to my eyes. He was a fantastic cat. I won't say that he was better than my last, but he was mine and I loved him -- still do. I miss him every day. Every time I remember him and how loyal and gentle he was, I miss him like crazy. The only solace I can get out of this is that he's in a better place with Grizz and my grandpa and they're all waiting for me. And I know that they all love me and they will wait for me -- just like when they were here on Earth -- until the end of time if they have to. They're watching over me and what keeps me going is just this weird belief I have that I am doing this all for them. I want to make them proud even though I know that no matter what happens, their love is unconditional.

Another tragedy to strike was the death of my math tutor, also the husband of my piano teacher. He and his wife had such a hand in raising me. They were truly good people, helping out with charities and fundraising, while still spending time with their family and teaching their students not just piano/math/etc., but also life lessons. He was so young, too -- not even 60 yet. I cannot even begin to imagine how his loved ones are coping with his passing. Only the good die young.

I want to end this post on a somewhat encouraging note, so I'll try to come up with some New Years Resolutions, or rather just a few small goals for myself this year:

• Learn German up to a basic level following the BBC Languages guide
• Lose 5 pounds
• Stop being afraid to write more music
• Do not lose myself in trying to please anyone else
• Curb spending (especially with my credit card)
• Read more books
• Finish proofreading my NaNoWriMo from 2011 & order the physical copy
• Don't fall for anyone
• Don't compromise my own values and beliefs and comfort levels
• Experience and live more