Delusion-Elle

I'm finding it hard nowadays to write poetic stuff. :(

I remember this quote... "You've got to suffer for your art", and I think it's true.

So I guess I'm not suffering enough, which (in a strange way) pisses me off. When I pick out neat little melodies on the piano, I don't think that that's due to any sort of emotion -- it just sounds good. But when I'm feeling really awful, I just go crackers with improvisation to calm myself down. I never remember anything I improvise nor do I try to. Improvisation is free emotion -- no thought, no planning, just expression.

But with lyrics, I feel like I need to plan them and that never works out. Actually, it worked out... once. But that was after I had the intro done so I guess that's cheating? Actually, I think that's how I work best: intro -> lyrics -> chords. Everything else I have already written lyrics for are too complex instrumental-layering-wise (in my head) to be translated into song right now. Yes, sometimes piano just doesn't do it. :(

Actually, I think that one of the best combos is voice + piano + strings. That would be good enough for a lot of my current projects. And I mean, I could go on and on about this, but I'll stop.

And now for something I wrote year(s?) ago which seems to apply to myself every so often. Just a poem, not a song...

I feel like posting some lyrics and poetry and shiz today, because I am sick of going back to my old blog to look at the half-decent ones. I'd rather start weeding them out now.

So yeah. These are mostly for my personal reference, but I don't want to just keep all this stuff bottled up. Any feedback is welcome since I gotta learn to man up in terms of sharing.

Should you care to get a peek into my warped mind, click 'read more' or whatever the cut-link says.

There is going to be a lot of this. I can just feel it. Nanowrimo should be "national song writing month" instead. I would pwn the goal so fast...

Don't forget
Never forget
Can't forget
But sometimes we try
To ease the feelings
The lack of feelings
With forget

If I forget
Can I forget?
Must forget
Remember nothing
The whirlwind that
Never existed
Please forget

Only ever
In my mind
Played out foolish
Heart tricks
Deceit
Betrayed by the
Beating in my chest

I'm such an idiot