Delusion-Elle

delusional, since 1991 *pew pew*

There is something very wrong with how people learn English nowadays.

To offer some background information, I am tutoring two high school students in Math and English. My students are a boy in grade 10, and his sister, a girl in grade 8. Their parents were Chinese immigrants who have since become Canadian citizens, and my students themselves were born here in Vancouver. This is my first time formally tutoring anyone, particularly in English and Math, as I have taught piano and flute to children in the past. These kids are also my neighbours, so I'm aware of the state of the neighbourhood and the schools in the area. I began tutoring these kids a few months ago, back in March, and though I've realized for some time now the inadequacy of our school system, I wasn't able to formulate my thoughts about it without completely flying off the handle until recently.

When I started getting to know these kids, I had high hopes. What I had been told about them previously was that the boy, hereafter known as J1, was doing well in school, and that he merely needed someone to be there so that he would feel some pressure to actually do homework as their parents work long hours at the store they own. In other words, J1 needed a babysitter. The girl, who I will refer to as J2, actually needed a tutor. I knew some classmates in high school and other people around my age from other school who "needed" tutors to get their marks up from B's to A's. I figured that tutoring J2 would be much like that as well. If her brother was doing more than okay, what were the chances that she was doing much less than okay?

A few weeks passed and I got to know J1 & J2. I got writing samples from them, as well. What I found astonished and disheartened me. These kids could not write; they could not write worth a darn! And their reading? Almost passable, if you consider skipping over words, rearranging words, and the inability to even sound out words to be reading. In terms of Math, J1 is able to do it mostly without many difficulties (except for geometry), but J2 needs to be walked through every word problem. Around this time, I also heard from the kids that their parents expect them to go to university to become doctors/lawyers/engineers. The way I saw it at this point was that drastic changes were needed. But what?

The thing is that J1 & J2 speak relatively decent English, that has little to no hint of an accent. Sure, they do have quite a few grammar errors, and the manners in which they speak are not very eloquent, but I expect colloquialisms and slang and slip-ups in spoken English; the mouth often moves faster than the brain. This is to be expected, I suppose. The written side of language is radically different from the spoken aspect, and although English is a somewhat phonetic language, often times the rules for pronunciation are frustrating... But does this really make not being able to read okay? No, it does not.

This does make me wonder, though. Are all my students' cohorts and classmates and friends unable to read? Has this always been the case? I try to think back to my high school days (which were not too long ago), and I am not sure. I do not remember anyone aside from recent immigrants having much trouble reading aloud in class, but then I was in the enriched program in high school. Undoubtedly, my high school experience was not "normal" so I honestly cannot say. As a third-year university student, I can say that I am familiar with the requirements for university. The level at which J1 & J2 read and write is not good enough to get into or excel in university.

It is apparent that there is a problem. I'm not saying that everyone should get into university, no, definitely not. However, for kids who have been immersed in English all of their lives, their English is surprisingly ... bad. An excerpt:

Martial Arts is a way to realive stress, have fun and help become more
athletic. I train in two different Martail Arts I do Taekwondo, wing chun.
I like both of them a lot I can give three reasons why I like this sport. The
technique of the certain type of Martial Arts are interesting. The
accessories that indicates the skill levels. Also fun is the main reason I
play this sport.
This was written as the opening paragraph to the essay I assigned to J1 on martial arts, a subject near and dear to him, about which he can talk for hours. This boy is 15. This was written with a word processor on his fancy Macbook (which for some reason does not do spellcheck). However, spelling is not the biggest problem here. It's in the sentence structure itself. The content is fine, but the word choice and grammar just make this paragraph sub-par. At this point, I am not sure if I believe J1's reassurances that he is doing "fine" in school and that his teacher "is an idiot". Granted, I know his teacher and I know for a fact that his teacher is not "an idiot". This teacher actually really knows his stuff in terms of English literature. His downfall, however, is that he cannot teach the subject. Come to think of it, though, there is not much to "teach" concerning English at this point other than how to analyze literary works, and goodness knows that that is not necessarily something that can be taught -- how do you teach understanding and inference? Practice, I suppose. But I digress, the groundwork for language acquisition should have been laid long ago. And herein lies the problem.

My parents were very involved in my elementary school. They went to the PAC meetings, they visited my teachers, and they got as involved as parentally possible in the office. I remember them coming back from one such PAC meeting where a teacher had led a discussion about reading, English, and how the grade 1-3 teachers are pivotal in establishing those basic English skills vital to language acquisition. "How are grade 1-3 teachers supposed to teach these basic English skills to young children?" you may be wondering. Well, the answer lies in one word, just one word that opens up billions of other words: reading. Are elementary school teachers reading to their students? Are they requiring that their students read books? Are they instilling in them a love for stories and books?

While somewhat still on the topic of parents, maybe some blame lies on them as well. Now, I cannot completely put the blame on them, though. They're doing what they can, working to pay for any extra-curriculars and possibly the hope of their kids going to university in the future. I understand that that requires putting  in a lot of hours at the store. But also from my understanding is that language acquisition is difficult to achieve unless the person is absolutely immersed in the language. They have to hear it constantly and their brain has to be working at trying to figure it out, not just because the person wants to -- oh no, when you leave boring things like that to "want" and "desire", they never get done -- but because the person has to in order to survive. Granted, it is likely difficult for immigrant parents to speak English to their children all the time, especially when they themselves do not know the language very well, but then it could become a learning experience for the whole family. In Canada, English is still one of the official languages. It is the one bridging language between ethnic groups in every province and territory but Québec. And likely, it is the bridging language in Québec, as well. Just don't quote me on it. Again, I digress. Yes, parents are a factor, but the issue goes beyond them.

Returning to the topic of schools, I think that there is not enough reading done in school, particularly in the oh-so important lower grades. Somehow kids are not getting enough exposure to good quality English at that stage. They are talked at all day by a teacher, yes, but again, that's spoken English -- radically different from written English. I remember one of my high school PE teachers. She was about my mum's age, and she was quite strict. People didn't really like her, but I thought that she was fair. I recall her telling some girls off for speaking some non-English language in the hallways. And as much as I'd like to think that maybe this was rather cruel and unnecessary of her, I think that she may have had a point. Our culture here has become very embracing of other cultures, and understandably so. However, I fear that by embracing all of these other cultures and by saying "okay, feel free to speak your home language at school!", we are losing ourselves and our identity. I'm not saying that people should not be allowed to retain their mother tongue. No, definitely not. Sometimes I wish that my parents had retained enough of theirs to make me retain it. Of course, people should be free to speak whatever they wish at home -- home is where they are free to relax and converse with family. It's just that if the kids are not being exposed to enough English outside of the home, there is no way for them to master English. In all honesty, I don't see a problem with people speaking whatever language they wish whenever (except for when people resort to their mother tongue in order to be secretive in a public space -- an inevitability, but somewhat disconcerting all the same), but when the parents of these children expect their kids to have kept their mother tongue AND to have mastered English, then I see a problem.

So where does that leave me and my students? Is it possible for me to get their reading and writing up to snuff? I cannot say. It would be a great task to undertake, but I am limited by time -- these kids are still in school and are still being bombarded by homework. I maintain that my #1 priority with them is to help them with their homework, but I cannot help but be bothered by the larger, underlying problem.

My mum says that the only thing that can help their English is to read to and with them. However, I am open to other suggestions. Leave them in the comments, s'il vous plaît!

Oh, it's been a few days since I last blogged, so I'm going to play catch-up for a bit.

For the most part I've been sleeping in until noon or so, and then spending my waking hours playing video games of the MapleStory, Animal Crossing, and The Sims 3 variety. For anyone who wants just a tiny taste of what the newly patched MapleStory is like, well, let's just say that I went from level 74 to 78 in a few days' time. Actually, in a few hours' time, if you take out all my sleeping and lazing about doing other things in-between.

And I have to apologize to everyone that I've been borderline ignoring because you've either texted me and my phone decided to restart, left me a message on MSN and I just plain haven't been on MSN in days, or e-mailed me and I forgot to reply and all these other e-mails piled on top pushing yours to the next page. Sorry!

Yesterday I finished my Christmas shopping! Given that people have been complaining about how crowded the malls are, I was expecting unnavigable hordes of people. What I faced was just your normal Saturday crowd at Metrotown. I guess given the fact that it was a Monday this was quite a lot, but I've seen worse. Hell, after doing volunteer gift-wrapping there years ago, I've experienced much much worse. It only took me about an hour to get my shopping done. That being said, I'm definitely thankful that I was only buying for one person and not 8 or however many I ended up buying for last year. Secret Santa is a great time and money saver, I'll tell you that. I was also expecting some inconvenient crowds on the bus and transit routes, but it took me 15 minutes to get to Metrotown so definitely no delays there.

After giving a young couple directions on how to get to UBC ("What's Dunbar? Does this go to UBC?!") and getting a seat on a moderately empty articulated bus (yay), I ended up making butter shortbread cookies with my mom and brother. That stuff tastes so freaking good. I can't even describe it. And I know it's bad for me, but man. Absolutely delish!

Unfortunately after baking I spent the rest of my day sitting in front of my desktop computer trying to fix MSN Messenger and play some more video games. This all led to a headache of massive proportions and a relatively early bedtime of 12:30AM.

Today was a day I was rather torn about. On the one hand, I wanted to have the anxiety and anticipation of term 1 marks to be over and done with, but on the other, I really did not want to know my Math 200 & 221 marks. After waking up multiple times, I finally got out of bed and checked my marks at around 11AM. Only my Math 200 mark was up at the time, but I have to say that it left me shocked. I swear, I just sat there for a full minute gaping at my mark wondering how on earth I had managed to get it. I would never in a million years have guessed that I would snag a B- in the course, especially after having failed that first midterm with a spectacular 29%. Luckily I redeemed myself with the other 3 midterms and apparently did fairly well on the final exam to end up with a B-.

I was unsurprised by my Music 120 and CPSC 211 marks, but my Math 221 mark also surprised me, though not as much as my Math 200 one did. I managed to get a B in Math 221! Who'd have thought that I... I! ... could do 2nd year Math?! Honestly, I didn't think so. My Math 221 midterm marks were also not very high (think "barely passing"), and they most certainly were not B's, meaning that I must've actually done decently well on the final exam. Weird.

Later in the evening, my family went to Chapters to help my brother choose something suitable to spend his $10 giftcard on. He ended up getting two books: a cookbook and a C++ guide. He's quite pleased with both of them and I am quite proud to say that I suggested them. :) My mom picked up some Christmas cards, despite my dad pointing out that her friends are using e-cards now (I fear the day when she asks me to help her send one), and I got this awesometastic book on Mozart. It's fairly large, and looks like it belongs on a coffee table. I'm using the term "book" rather loosely since it contains a CD as well as a lot of reproductions of letters, notes, and tickets for Mozart's operas (in glossy cardboard form). Yes, I am an intense Mozart fangirl. It was a present from my mom for "doing so well in Math".

Yup, that's Mozart's mug on the front. Poor insane, destitute bastard. He wrote some good stuff.

I'm just waiting on one more mark to be released (Music 100), but I'm not worried about it.
Just a few more days until Christmas! And it's time to sell textbooks! Wooooooo!

I'm fairly sure that I have a mild cold now, complete with a Math-induced headache. Dammit. And even without cold medication I've been acting strangely, yelling expletives at super-tedious Math questions and talking to myself. I have had it with studying. For the 12 hours I dedicated to Math today (minus a few for eating and those menial human things), I got through 1 practice final, and maybe half of another. The studying bug, which bit me so hard for Math 200 and CPSC 211, has totally disappeared. I'm thankful that my last exam is my music theory one, which should be relatively okay even with minimal studying. Because, dammit, I'm going to do some gaming between tomorrow and Saturday. I played for about an hour today just because I felt like if I didn't do something other than studying, I was going to punch something really hard. And I didn't want that. D:

In real life news, there was a fire at UBC today on the rooftop of Sauder/Angus. Thankfully it looks like no one was injured, though, damn, that'd be pretty awesome to have your final interrupted by a fire. Even better if your final is then not counted for marks. :) But that's just wishful thinking on my part.

Hmm, there was a lot more that I had in mind for blogging material earlier (while I was studying), but it's since left me. Unless, of course, you want to hear about the sudden case of munchies I got at 11PM, which led to nomming some totally delish cheesecake that my mom had bought. ...Yeah, didn't think so.

I think that my sinuses are going to implode, rendering me comatose and/or putting me in a vegetative state during my exam tomorrow. Sounds good to me! See y'all on the other side. :)

At least where post-secondary students are concerned. A few lucky people are done with finals now, but I'm not. Darn it. I can't even say that I'm exactly procrastinating right now because I went through 14 sections of the Math 221 textbook. I made a lot of progress today and I deserve a break. Tomorrow I will tackle past exams, for which no answer keys have been provided. :( My exam on Wednesday will be a failure, in a nutshell.

It turns out that I can only concentrate if I'm listening to this one particular album. Huh. Maybe it's because I've listened to it so many times or something, but I've been ADD for most of the day until I put on this one album. And look at the progress I've made! I mildly understand eigenvalues! Hoorah!

During my earlier procrastinatory travels on the Internet, I came across a few articles on Cracked that interested me. Firstly, one of today's articles about these trippy weird Easter eggs hidden in "famous" albums. It makes me wonder if maybe the reason why my dad says that Pink Floyd's The Wall is the "best rock album ever" is because they laced their songs with some sort of creepy mind control. I mean, I've never heard my dad be so passionate over an album before. He's not even really a rock'n'roll kind of a guy. Anyway, the second article is from a year ago and is about the little plotholes in the LOTR movies. Yes, I'm a geek, so this article was of relevance to me.

On the cold/sickness/illness front, my throat feels much improved today, though I am sneezing quite a fair bit. Not looking good. Maybe I'll spread the love over the course of my last two exams.

The problem, for me, with studying is that my mind immediately wants to work on something else -- website design, writing, composing, blogging. And a part of me approves of these other activities because, sadly, when I'm not looking at imminent doom and failure (aka finals), then I don't feel like working on anything. I'd rather be gaming or reading a book.

And a heads up to fellow Vancouverites, (and I know this news is 24 hours old now) but SE Marine Drive is going to be out of commission for the next week after that sinkhole popped open. In terms of transit, the 100 bus is being rerouted along Kent, and the 8 Fraser/Downtown bus is terminating all the way up at 49th, though shuttles will go between 49th and Marine Drive. I foresee messiness at the 49th & Fraser intersection with the rerouting (I'm pretty sure 49th is only 2 lanes either direction and during rush hour, that will be ugly for the bus), but it should only last for a week.

Oh crap, I just realized that soon enough I'm going to have to be on the hunt for textbooks for next term's courses. Graaagh! Boring blog post is boring, but so am I. Goodnight!

O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!
 - Lewis Carroll, "Jabberwocky"

I am done with Math 200! For this term, at least! D: Who knows if I did well enough on the final to pass. T____T Honestly, that was the worst final exam I've ever written. The questions that I was able to do were all of the ones that were only worth, say, 10 marks. And even then, they were multi-part questions and I undoubtedly fecked up some of the parts. It's a very unnerving feeling when you've got an 11-page exam in front of you and you leave about 3 of those pages blank (for a total of 27 marks lost right there) because you have no idea what to do, and then have a completely filled page where you were not able to find an answer even after wasting a good 30 minutes on that half a question that you KNOW you should be able to do, but just cannot. That being said, a lot of people (read: 3 other people who I know are smart) found the exam hard, and at least it seems like the questions I did answer were done correctly. It is definitely nice knowing people writing the same exam to bus home with. The bus ride went by extremely quickly.
Anyway, enough grousing about Math 200. I've got a few days off to prepare for my music history exam which will have some multiple choice questions and be essaytastic -- a nice change of pace from madly scrambling to  fail epically at doing math problems, methinks.

And here's another bit of randomness that I found on Cracked about the dark origins of those much beloved fairytales. I remember reading the Grimm brothers' version of Cinderella way back when I was young, and it absolutely freaked me out. And my mom made it a point to never borrow a Grimm version of a fairytale from the library ever again.

I just had this weird thought. Everything is just time. All we're ever doing is waiting for it to pass.
Ah, and now it's gone.

And to bring up Math 200 one last time: if someone can solve the following question, please do and tell me how to do it!
Question: Find the point P(x, y, z) that is the shortest distance from the origin given the constraint x3y2z=3√6
This question will bother me for a very long time, I think. I tried using LaGrange multipliers and the basic distance formula (√(x2 + y2 + z2)), but then I realized that the minimum would be the same (for the distance formula) if I squared it and used the slightly friendlier x2 + y2 + z2. And then I used up the entire page trying to manipulate a crapload of stupid equations that gave me... diddly squat. Or maybe it did give me something, if you think that x12 could possibly be part of a valid second-year Math problem's solution.


*scurries off to read up on long dead composers from the Middle Ages*

EDIT: Apparently pasting that bit from my prof's e-mail about University Boulevard being closed on Saturday got me some hits on Google. Jesus Christ. Is it REALLY necessary to Google that whole sentence, people?!
Also, I learned today that University Boulevard is that road leading from the old bus loop into the village that the 99 B-Line (as well as the 17 and maybe more I believe?) takes.
And for good measure:
"Due to street paving and arborist work, University Boulevard will be closed to all traffic on Sat, Dec 11 from 8:00 am to 5:00 pm.   Buses will be re-routed.   Other access routes to campus are not affected."
SEE THIS SENTENCE? LOOK ABOVE IT IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHICH ROAD UNIVERSITY BOULEVARD IS.
And because I am kind and benevolent, I am going to advise going along 16th and down Wesbrook Mall at the ginormously useless roundabout. Unless the Wesbrook Mall/University Boulevard intersection will also be affected. Then oh well. Sucks to be you. I only know as much as the next schmuck.

I have to figure this out now or else I will get absolutely nothing done. NOTHING. T_____T
Shit to be done between now and the end of term (!!) not including finals & the epic amounts of studying those will require:

  • Music 100: daily sight chord drills, assignment 5 (Nov. 19)
  • Music 120: read ch. 10/11/12, research paper (Nov. 19)
  • CPSC 211: pre-lab every week, assignment 4 (Nov. 26), demo (Dec. 3)
  • Math 200: practice questions for 15.8/16.1/16.2/16.3/11.3/16.4/16.6/16.7/16.8/16.5, midterm 4 (Nov. 19)
  • Math 221: homework for 3.1/3.2/5.1/5.2/5.3/5.4/5.6/6.1/6.2/6.3 (as it's assigned), midterm 2 (Nov. 19)
Time I have to do shit in (for this week only):
Today (Nov. 7): daily SCD [MUSC100], read ch. 10 [MUSC120], start research paper [MUSC120], practice q's for 15.8 [MATH200] <-- I did 7 questions. Good enough for now. I hope.
Monday (Nov. 8): {Sight chord drill in-class} daily SCD [MUSC100]
Tuesday (Nov. 9): {volunteering} daily SCD [MUSC100], work on research paper [MUSC 120]
Wednesday (Nov. 10): {NO LAB} daily SCD [MUSC100], practice q's for 16.1 [MATH200]
Thursday (Nov. 11): {lunch out, uncle's birthday dinner} daily SCD [MUSC100], work on research paper [MUSC120]
Friday (Nov. 12): {Co-op interivew} daily SCD [MUSC100], practice q's for 16.2 [MATH200] <-- 4 questions done, too tired to go on~
Saturday (Nov. 13): {tutor} daily SCD [MUSC100], Assignment 5 [MUSC100] <--mostly done; just need to clarify things in lecture this week, work on research paper [MUSC120], work on sample midterm [MATH200]
Sunday (Nov. 14): daily SCD [MUSC100], work on research paper [MUSC120], homework [MATH221]

And this probably looks ambitious and confusing as fuck, but I WANT THAT SATISFACTION OF CROSSING THINGS OFF MY LIST and I understand this so that's all that matters.
Guess I'd better get cracking.
Will blog more later if distracted/procrastinating. -___-
... I can guarantee that that will happen .____."

7.29.2010

I Didn't Come Home

I'm only posting this because I've had it, and I finally don't care. I want a listener, but no responses. I'll create illusions of what I need to hear. Please don't read if you want to preserve any sort of pre-existing image of me in your mind.

I didn't come home to feel like a mess, but that's the way things have turned out.

4.24.2010

Shalott Syndrome

I have no freaking clue if it's a real syndrome or not, but I feel like the Lady of Shalott right now.
Stuck in a tower (my room), weaving (studying) all goddamn day, and my "mirror" is the small window in my bathroom that I have open so I can hear the happiness of my neighbour's kids outside...
A more metaphorical mirror is probably my computer and the interwebz, but if that were the case, we all know that the curse is upon me now lololol.

There is no Lancelot.

I'm not even going to get into the "its theme is about artists and their isolation" or the "to create art about the world or live in it" blah blah. But yeah, this is the only thing I've been listening to for the last few days...


AND I PRINTED THE SHEETS FOR IT AND IT IS GORGEOUS. I want a harpsichord... NAO! D:<

It's a long poem, but once of my favourites, so I stuck it under the cut... And if you don't know who it's by, let's just say Lit 12 fail. Or at least I think we studied the poet/maybe this poem in Lit 12. Oh well, I don't remember.

3.28.2010

Redo To-Do:

Today: finished 9.2 & 9.3 for Math

Sunday: finish up 9.4 & 9.5 & 9.6 for Math, start English paper!!!, prep CPSC lab
Monday: prep CPSC lab if not finished, prep for Phys lab exam D:, do sample Math test [postpone to Tuesday I tried but it was too hard :(], work on Engl paper
Tuesday: review Math [did on Monday], Engl paper!!
Wednesday: work on paper, catch up on Phys reading :(
Thursday: read Psyc? MUSE CONCERT
Friday: partay! (probably can't stay late because I have to help clean house :( )
Saturday: clean house, catch up on readings for other courses, go out for dinner, work on paper, MASTERINGPHYSUCKS
Sunday: partay!

So I guess that's my week... D:

3.21.2010

Plans

I need to make plans for how to study and do homework or else I won't get anything done and I'll end up being a bum on the street.

Today: Math homework (9.1), study for CPSC midterm
Monday: Read more for research essay, study for CPSC midterm some moar -- I officially kick sequential circuit butt :D
Tuesday: Math homework (9.2) -- CANNOT FINISH HOLY JESUS SO HARD D:, study hardcoar foar CPSC midterm some moar
Wednesday: ptfo when I get home from CPSC midterm, maybe read some moar for Engl?
Thursday: read Psyc, read Phys, START ENGL RESEARCH PAPER!!!
Friday: Math homework (9.3/9.4), work on Engl paper -- probably postponed to Saturday so I can have fun :D
Saturday: Math homework (9.5/9.6), work on Engl paper -- probably postponed to Sunday
Sunday: read Psyc, do moar Math practice stuff

And procrastination ends... in 5 minutes lol

EDIT: I got distracted again by this. And I was doing so well in terms of homework, too. :( LOL AND THIS SERIOUSLY HAD ME GOING FOR A WHILE XD:

It's been a few days since I last blogged.
I'm supposed to be studying for my CPSC midterm, but I slacked off for like 5 hours and just read articles on cracked.com, like this one about cat behaviours and the evil explanations behind them and this one about how music affects people. It's 'cause of this that I looked at the other articles on this site lolol.

I became addicted to Kamelot's The Black Halo album again. So freaking good. Best album I've ever heard. It even has punch-you-in-the-face moments of goodness. And if I listen to it, I actually can make myself do homework so yay. I told myself that I would do Math questions until I finished my 3rd listen of the album today and now it's on its 4th go and I'm still working on questions.

In other news, I finally got a new iPod (yay thanks Savo!) and I was looking at the cover flow stuff yesterday night after the 30 minutes it took to synch everything to it -___- and now I feel the urge to actually attach album art to everything LOL. Sadly (and nerdily enough), one of the first free apps I downloaded was an eReader. 'Cause I'm lame like that lol.

I just realized that I have like 3 pages in draft because Blogspot limits you to 10 pages and I can't commit to anything.

No CPSC lab this week so that's a bit of a relief in terms of work for this weekend. Shit, but I'm going to be behind in Psyc reading if I don't get on it... like tomorrow (Sunday).

AHHHHHHHHHHHH I just looked at the course syllabus for Psyc (which has the week-by-week reading schedule) and it's just 2 weeks until the Muse concert!!! :D Joyness!! But I think it's going to be a pretty hectic weekend since I really really have to catch up in Physics readings. Hopefully after my CPSC midterm and Math test, I can concentrate my efforts on passing Physucks.

3.12.2010

It sucks...

No, it fucking sucks when you wake up mid-dream and you're lying on your stomach with your head on your arms and your arms hurt like crazy because your head made them fall asleep D:

Finished that crap I had to do for English. I think this is the most last-minute I've ever left an assignment. But it's okay. It's done.

Updated list of crap to do:

  • read Phys (forever...)
  • read CPSC (IDK, so behind ><)
  • MasteringPhysucks (March 15)
  • CPSC assignment #3 (March 19) -- 100% done!!
  • prep next CPSC lab (March 16)
  • read over next Phys lab (March 16)
  • read Math (March 30)
  • get caught up in Math homework (March 30)
  • respond to Playland (March 19)
  • fix up Engl proposal/bib according to tomorrow's peer review (March 15)
  • register for summer course + $100 deposit (March 18)
I think we should have a group trip to the Harry Potter theme park @ Universal Studios. I think that it would be fun :) I mean, THEY FREAKING MADE A REPLICA OF HOGSMEADE VILLAGE. But maybe in a few years so we can build up our moneys to afford it.

2.28.2010

Moody.

As in Mad-Eyed Moody!
Nah, I'm just kidding. WG & AN blogged tonight (yesterday?) so I felt like blogging too. Hurrah for peer pressure! :)

Time is running out to catch up with schoolwork, and I've stopped caring about anything and everything school related. But life isn't about lollygagging around and doing things you want to do. No of course not. That'd be far too easy and we can't have life being easy now, can we?

Had a loltastic talk with WG today. x) I don't think I can ever talk to her without actually lol-ing at the screen and getting weird looks from my brother.

Just a little warning in advance, this is probably going to be a somewhat self-absorbed post.

I'm listening to that "Calling to the Night" song again and it's got a chokehold on my heart. Every time I hear it, I come close to crying. I know that it's already inspired the start of a story that's gone onto my brainstorming notepad file. But I'm forcing myself not to do any writing right now. I know that if I do, I won't be able to do any more schoolwork or studying, which is why I had to finish that story. It was stealing my time and energy. I want to sing this song so badly. But people are in bed and the house is not empty. I wish I was standing on the corner of a busy intersection of endless traffic. I like that feeling of being there, but not quite at the same time. And the noise is loud enough to cover my voice.

I don't even know what I want anymore. Sometimes I think being in a relationship would be nice. But I also think that I enjoy my solitude. I love my friends and sometimes I think that there is no room for anyone else in my life. But I shouldn't even think about these sorts of things. These thoughts just make me feel weird. In the end, I know that I could do just fine by myself. Relationship talk makes me feel weird. I know I'm young, I know that I shouldn't believe in words like "never". But I don't know. I don't want to know.

Well, I think I've just got to study Math hardcore, review some more Physics, and try and finish CPSC lab 5 (from before the reading break lololol) before school starts again.

12.08.2009

Math :(

Math final was brutal. :(

Still don't understand why so chatty.
But I invited him & his girlfriend to skating. So there.
I at least feel like I'm the better person.
Still sense that his movie marathon is going to be uber awkward. For me, anyway.
Why the hell does he want me there?
I'm not part of his "gang".
This is going to bother me until it actually happens and everything turns out all hunky-dory or horribly bad.

Studying seems pointless. I'm going to bomb everything anyway. It seems unavoidable.

11.29.2009

Good day.

I feel as though... I don't know. Today was an excellent day. :)

I just finished my CPSC lab. Before I went out today, I was just so worried that I would never get it. But after I came back, I just sat down and worked it out. It was so freaking simple!
Even if it is 1:22am...
Whatever. :D That's done. Just CPSC assignment left to worry about for CPSC.

Chem... eh. Gotta work on that online quiz tomorrow for sure (it IS due tomorrow). And then I just have to stress about studying and the crystal structures online quiz.

My Physics group just e-mailed back and forth today while I was out and apparently they want to meet @ 4pm on Monday. Since I'm done my CPSC lab and my mom is done with the lab exams, I should be off campus by 3pm tops. But now... I dunno D:

No math homework for once! Just gotta look the stuff over in anticipation of a likely/possible quiz on Tuesday.

Tomorrow will be dedicated to Chem and editing an essay.

11.20.2009

Math @_@

Math homework is ridiculous.
Or maybe, for me it is, anyhow.
I actually get Taylor polynomial/series stuffs, I think. IT'S JUST SO MUCH FREAKING WORK IF YOU DON'T KNOW THE STUFF OFF THE TOP OF YOUR HEAD. D:
It's just very... tedious. Unless you're some sort of math genius who can calculate complicated derivatives off the top of your head. Or you actually BOTHER to memorize those 'already derived' thingers of sin x and e to the x, etc. etc.